Helga

A germanic name for a rare type of females who should be kept away form people. Their hideous personalities scares away most people, and their sense of humour is to be frowned upon. Their love for dogs is due to captivity, since they can be on a leash, they can not escape. Helga is always blonde due to a chemical reaction from their heart being black as coal. Anyone who spends time talking with a Helga is either paid by the government to keep track of them, otherwise they're a sick bastard. If a Helga is interested in birds, it is a super Helga, this is of course the worst type of Helga. Their interest in birds is a side effect of their fantasies about crashing planes into buildings with large crowds of people. It is believed that the terrorists who caused 9/11 was a small group of Helgas.

"I Really fucking like you Helga x" - Kenneth

"Dude, did you see that bigfoot?!" "No it was just a Helga, though that's worse."

"Yes I was pregnant, but it turned out to be a Helga, so obviously we threw it into the woods."

"I used to be religious until I saw a Helga. No God would create that."

"Did you know that some Helgas knows how to talk?"